


No matter what, Grape is the best flavor. It's tangy you know?

by citrus_season



Category: Gintama
Genre: Bickering, Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Established Relationship, It's summer, M/M, a grape-flavored popsicle, a peek into the life of GinHiji as lovers, and they discuss having sex at a later date, but the language is crass, no it's not what you're thinking, this doesn't have sex.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrus_season/pseuds/citrus_season
Summary: To Do or not to do the Do in this earth-shattering heat, that's the question. At least gin-san is fortunate enough that he can "share" his popsicle with his boyfriend.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 11
Kudos: 94





	No matter what, Grape is the best flavor. It's tangy you know?

**Author's Note:**

> FYI, Kagura and Shinpachi are at the Shimura household.  
> I don't bite popsicles. really. Idk why these two guys are doing that.

Summer heat sucks....it sucks.....it really sucks.....

Gintoki rolls onto his back. In two minutes he will roll onto his stomach.

"I can't take it anymore," he whines. "The floor isn't cold anymore."

"You're right. It's sticky and gross from your sweat. Dammit Yorozuya, why do you sweat so much? Is it because all the sugar you inhale is leaking out of your pores?"

Gintoki can barely open his eyes. When he opens his eyes, he sees sunlight, and when he sees sunlight, he gets hit with reality and throws up a little in his mouth.

"Can you sympathize? You're using all my tax money to sit in air-conditioned rooms. You're here for a little bit. I'm here for a long bit. I'm literally melting. I wish I melted faster so I don't have to experience this nightmare anymore."

There's a sigh. "You're so fucking dramatic, and for what? You don't even pay tax. Here, I bought you a popsicle."

Gintoki sits up like a spring. He stares wide-eyed at his boyfriend. "Hijikata-kun," He coos.

Hijikata grimaces. Still, he hands over the plastic package without a fight. The sight of him must be more pathetic than he thinks. 

"Why is this grape-flavored? Everyone and their mother knows I'm strawberry-flavor or nothing. Hijikata-kun, are you not serious about dating me? Huh?" He waves the popsicle, it slips from his slippery, sweaty hands.

Another sigh, followed by the sound of a lighter and then the smell of familiar smoke, "Gintoki," he says from the sofa, "You're being really annoying. It's just as hot for me. I was on a patrol for four hours in this heat while wearing that hell-sent uniform, and taking a bath and coming here was all that I could do. Just be grateful I got you a popsicle."

Hijikata lays down on the sofa with one leg bent, the other on the floor. His yukata spreads over his thighs, but he doesn't care to move. He puts his forearm over his eyes. Cigarette ash falls to the floor like a parody of rain, mocking him.

"Hey, hey," Gintoki says, "Are you trying to seduce me? What was all that spiel about having to work in the heat then flashing your underwear at me? You're giving me mixed messages."

Hijikata groans, "If we fuck in this weather, one or both of us will die. I don't want my obituary to say 'Hijikata Toushirou, Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, had sex with his stupid boyfriend during the summer solstice and passed away because he deserved it.'"

"Did you just call me stupid, moron?" Gintoki says reflexively, half-hearted as he's distracted with opening the popsicle package, and finally putting it in his mouth. He groans, then grunts, then lays on the floor. 

"Summer sucks," Gintoki grunts again. He takes a bite of the ice, "Can't even fuck my boyfriend stupid as a thank you." 

Even without looking, Gintoki knows that Hijikata is red to his stomach. He smiles around his cold treat when Hijikata remains silent, and closes his eyes.

After a few seconds, Gintoki hears padded footsteps. He feels a shadow loom over him. Hijikata pulls the popsicle right out of his mouth.

Gintoki frowns. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking my popsicle back, since you don't know how to say thank you properly."

Gintoki opens his eyes and squints at Hijikata who's taken to sitting cross-legged next to his head. They hold each other's gaze, then Hijikata wraps his lips around the half-eaten treat.

"What's the meaning of this?" Gintoki asks with his eyes trained on Hijikata's mouth, "Do you want to have sex or not? Are you too hot for sex or not? Didn't anyone teach you that you have to ask for what you want, please and thank you?"

Hijikata's eyes twitch. He pulls out the damned popsicle and bends down until his hair is falling into Gintoki's eyes. "It's you who lacks manners. Thank me and I'll give it back."

"It's too hot for games, Hijikata-kun. Just sit on my dick, it's right there." As expected, his cheeks grow ruddy almost immediately. "Or do you perhaps want a popsicle of your own? One that grows bigger the more you suck at it?"

"I hate you," Hijikata says decisively, and sits up straight. He takes a bite. 

"Hey, why're you eating it? Didn't you bring that for me?" 

"You don't deserve it." He takes another bite even with his mouth full. He's in a vengeful mood apparently, "I bought it anyway, it's mine."

"What's yours is mine right, Hijikata-kun? Come on, Gin-san is gonna die here."

"You better hurry up then. If you're frustrated now, then I don't think you can handle the horror of it all when I take the last bite and then lick the stick right in front of your face."

"You bastard," Gintoki groans. He watches Hijikata take another bite and gets up on one elbow. With one hand pushed into Hijikata's hair, Gintoki presses his lips to hijikata's easily. Gintoki tugs at his hair sharply, and Hijikata opens his mouth around a grunt. Gintoki takes the cold bits of grape-flavored ice into his own. 

He kisses him until Hijikata's mouth is warm and pliant and sticky sweet with artificial sugar, then plops back down without energy. 

"It's so hot. It's become hotter." 

"No shit." Hijikata mumbles. He throws away the stick, and then just like Gintoki, takes off his yukata. He lays down next to him in front of the fan.

"What are we gonna do now? I'm horny _and_ hot."

Hijikata sighs. "How about we take a long nap. Wake up, go get a nice dinner, then come back and have shower sex?"

"Sounds like a plan," Gintoki says, "But bring me another popsicle first."

"No."

"But you ate mine!"

"We _shared_ it."

"Stop monopolizing the narrative! You stole it and I reclaimed it!"

"I bought it with my own hard-earned money. It's mine."

"How cold-hearted! How does it feel like living everyday being a grade A bitch?"

"Better than begging other people to buy me a popsicle costing a hundred yen!"

"It's too hot for this! Why are you riling me up?"

"Shut up! Just shut up and sleep it away!" Gintoki lets his heavy arm fall on Hijikata's naked chest. "Fine, I get it, I'll buy you another popsicle for dessert! Stop touching me you cockroach!"

"Who're you calling a cockroach?"

"Your skin, it's so sticky and slimy and," Hijikata makes a gagging sound. Gintoki moves his arm to Hijikata's face. "You can't be real! You can't be real!"

"I very much am! Fucker!"

"Just sleep already!"

**Author's Note:**

> (FYI 2 : I /am/ considering a continuation....but idk what it's gonna look like yet, or when I might find the time to write it!)
> 
> [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/citrus_season)  
> 


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